I just want to…
Let your life go back to how it was… Before you met me, before you knew of my existence
Maybe it would have been better, than have you convince me it will be me who’s walking off
Do you even know that I love you so much and I will do that if it’s to have you saved?
Trust me I know I am a blue one-off
Once you asked me
“What’s so special about me? I’m just an ordinary man.”
Everytime you say-I wanted to pour my heart in your hands and ask you then why would an ordinary man stick around?
Then you say you’re not worthy
No, no baby I’ll never understand if you’ve done any person wrong
Because baby you’ve nothing but shine in someone’s darkest stage
And again you ask;
“How one person can love another this much? Let alone the fact that another is me.”
I’m very much honored to have seen love from family-mother, father, sister, brother to grandparents and aunts…
It’s why I have such an immense winged heart once I’ve loved
You’ll know how a sincere love can be a true healer
But you don’t understand… because you’re not accepting it
There are things in my head
No one can comprehend to believe
I myself don’t know how to react to those feelings
So sometimes I think…
It’s better to feel the pain than nothing at all
In all honesty I’m ready to feel the pain
Better now than later
But something… you stop me
This feeling comes and goes so frequent …
Unknowingly block it from my head only when you’re there
I that my mind plays games
I hate that people don’t just accept others
I hate that you mean so much
For the plain reason that we could hurt each other
There are so many things in life
I hate to despise
But through all the darkness
You were my light
Let me tell you a story.
I was never the girl that boys wrote love songs for
never the girl that had the world yoyoed around her fingers,
never the girl that spent midnights on the beach
with red plastic cups in her hands
I was the girl that spent recess on the swings,
my palms stretched around chains that locked me to the earth
and swung me to the stars
I was the girl that hid behind four corners of a novel
because words have always been more patience than people
I was the girl that held the superpower of invisibility
behind the cloak of indifference
On my yearbook, they would write:
“You rock, don’t ever change.”
But how do you listen when you stare at your reflection in mirrors
and only see a paper crane falling apart at the seams?
I told myself what no one else would tell me,
“Your body is made of ivory bridges
beneath the pavement of skin,
You are the causeway to every destination
where you go and what you do is entirely up to you.”
“If you don’t like the route you’re taking,
the car you’re driving, the world you’re in,
you can change it.
If you don’t like you,
you can change it.
You want to be a writer, so let this life be your work of art.
You are the poet and the poem, the conductor and the orchestra.
Write your life like you would read it.
Remember that every line within you can be crossed out,
every noun not needed, every adjective all wrong.
Throw yourself down unexpected roads,
turn right when you want to go left.
Remember that it’s okay to take more than one route,
it’s okay to be more than one genre.
You’re allowed to sit down on park benches
reading Bukowski at midnight and stand up listening to Kayne.
You’re allowed to always wear black when your favorite color is pink.
You’re allowed to be a sonnet and also a country song.”
I told the girl filled with self-hate,
“It’s okay, this is only the first draft.”
The wind blew across softly
And the snow flickered quietly
But the trees dipped in snow quickly
And the sky’s body is filled with red and grey
The snow covered the green field, buried those green memories along…
I stood there stiff and cold… it probably reached my bones…
The cold plastic of the headphones dug into my ears
and the music played a loud symphony,
Classical into a beautiful heartbeat…
I held in my mind thoughts that pained me
In the faint distant I heard the snow being crushed
Just under my feet
Wished something would take me
When it hurt to remember who was me
My hands curled so numb
Frustrated by those thoughts
filled me with uncertainty… Today it drove me crazy.
Angered with the thought
that the winters chills freezing this coal heart once more…
I turn around and walk away
Looking at nothing but the grey clouds before my eyes.
Once footsteps stopped
Looked bellow there was no foot trace left behind me
Still didn’t want to look further back
For whose coming ahead…
Because I knew my head’s hit the clouds…
And I’m far far gone.
Kimberly Mae Corlett
This girl’s heart is gold she really is a treasure… So proud to be her partner in Architectural Studio.
حبيبي خالو سعد شاكر البديع و المحبوب الله يرحمك و يطيب ترابك، تعلمت منك كل الخير من حب العائلة وحب الوطن والقيم العالية. أنتَ ذخرة لنا حياً و ميتاً وأنك وسندتنا برغم الحيل لأننا ولانا نستمد مندُن اقوالكَ فهي اعطتنا القوة و الثبات.
"Lost love is still love, Eddie. It just takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t hold their hand… You can’t tousle their hair… But when those senses weaken another one comes to life… Memory… Memory becomes your partner. You hold it… you dance with it… Life has to end, Eddie… Love doesn’t."
The book assured me the idea of death, God and life’s never ending unanswered questions.
When I read this…
I pictured myself as Eddie. An old man with so many bruises (physically and emotionally) draging the last breath he had to carry before he died and saved a little girl’s life. With a cause he died (which for me is amazing!) and the sky went darker like any scene we might see in movies or stories about the long tunnel after we are no longer connected to this life and earth (classic - but I kinda fond of this typical scene). Then he met the five people that bumped into his life for a second and even for a lifetime that he might didn’t remember or know them before when he was alive. These five people were there to answer all of his unanswered questions about his life and why God had purposes with him in his life even when he thought that he had no value at all - This too amazes me still; have you EVER wondered why are you here on earth? why God made you so grand that He let you breath-eat-work-make decision-go crazy-fall in love-make mistakes-be bad-curse-etc? doesn’t that make you feel so little to know that now?)
And the story evolved from there. And all the classic questions that I believe WE all are facing now are written so nicely by Albom. With jokes, with poems, with simple everyday words. Albom didn’t preach within this book which I think it is the risk of writing such subject - and the fact that he didn’t preach makes it universal for all races and religions to read. And be STILL be spiritually touched.
And so how does this effect on me? Highly emmense. I was angry/upset all the time and didn’t understand why and how I thought I have not a value to go on. Then a family’s loss which rolled me to attempt reading this book in the first place reminds me of how life goes on (and how life NEEDS to go on). God has purposes with us, even if it means only to be a bell-boy of a grand hotel, or to be a mistress, or to be a virgin queen or to be an ordinary guy standing on the train station. Little things matter the most.
On the account of this book, I got to know that Albom had written another grand book about life-death-God previously before this book. I haven’t read the previous one; Tuesday with Morrie (which led to a movie), so I am really looking forward to read it after finishing reading this. I hope that book will be highly amazing and enlight me like Five People did.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.